Deadpool PSA 2
by megamatt09
Summary: Deadpool discusses abandoned fan fiction stories and the reasons why they become such.


**Deadpool PSA 2 on Abandoned Stories.**

"Hello, my name is Wade Wilson, and I'm your baby's Daddy," the Merc With the Mouth said as he looked forward. "But in all seriousness people, I want to discuss a very important topic that is near and dear of the hearts of many people reading it and now….it's not porn….."

There was a stampede of people going to the nearest exit but Deadpool pulled out a gun immediately and pointed at them.

"Stay put," Deadpool said as he cleared his throat and everyone sat back down. "So, for those of you who read, you come across the most awesome story in the world. It might in fact have many chapters, so you go read through it, chapter after chapter, you're excited, you can't stop clicking, reading, clicking, reading, clicking…..then you get the end, realize that the story is not complete and it has not been updated in four fucking years."

The Merc with the Mouth paused.

"You my friends have just run across an abandoned story, but don't worry, it's common, only one out of every three hundred or so stories every published, that are not one shots or let's say about fifteen chapters or more, will be completed," Deadpool said as he looked up. "There is a virtue graveyard of stories as far as the eye could see and granted….some of them are best forgotten, but I'm sure that there's been some pretty good shit that just died on the vine."

Deadpool cleared his throat.

"The reasons why stories are abandoned are numerous and I will discuss them in depth," Deadpool said as he put on a pair of glasses. "The reason first is the dreaded thing known as real life intervenes and by the time the person is able to take care of whatever they need to take care of, all interest in the story is lost. The muse, as they have said, has left the building."

Deadpool pointed his finger at the screen.

"How dare you?" Deadpool asked. "How dare you abandon a story….you know….something happened…bullshit, you work for me slave boy. How dare you leave me like that? And it was getting so good as well, the main pairing was finally going to get together, maybe, after them awkwardly dancing around each other for thirty chapters to the put where I wanted to strangle both of them or the villain was going to finally execute his nefarious schemes or finally, that annoying bitch was about to be killed off, after all she put our heroes through but….it doesn't happen, does it? It doesn't happen. Listen here monkey, even though I pay zero dollars for this work, you don't dare betray me like that. You son of a bitch, how dare you? How dare you have a life? How dare you lose interest? How dare you? YOU OWE ME YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Deadpool started to hyperventilate.

"Reason the second…..people online are dicks, and it takes the wrong dick, on the wrong day, to push the wrong button," Deadpool said as he shook his head. "It's so easy to be an obnoxious bastard when you're hiding behind a keyboard and a monitor, most Fan Fiction Dot Net Anonymous Reviews are exactly this. So the author tends to just say, screw you, I don't need any of this abuse, I'm going to shove off, so thanks a lot. That's why you shouldn't be a jerk online."

The Merc with the Mouth paused.

"Reason of the third, and this one tends to be more obvious, with a lot of stories, one's that are abandoned early on," Deadpool said as he breathed calmly, taking a breath. "Let's face it, coming up with a story idea, it's easy. Hell, the author of this story that you're reading comes up with about three story premises during his early morning shit. But a start is one thing, actually fleshing it out, and you might be able to get through a couple of chapters before you fall flat on your face. There are numerous starts and then sudden stops."

The Merc With the Mouth slapped his palm on the blackboard.

"Reason of the fourth…some authors who think very highly of themselves, tend to strive to be original….never mind if you think of it, it's likely been done by someone, especially the mentally disturbed thoughts of twisted and putrid garbage variety," Deadpool continued. "Therefore, they have to be original, they are striving for this professional standard. But one day, they fucking hit a wall because I'll tell you what happens. They come to the realization that they aren't making a god damn dime off of this shit. Because….you know, those pesky little things called copyrights. We can't sell our fictional stories for money, unless we created the characters, and settings one hundred percent original….although that's a grey area, because everyone is a ripoff of something. Hell, Slade Wilson, Deathstroke the Terminator, is a cheap ripoff of me, and don't let anyone on the Internet tell you differently, either! All who say otherwise is a liar!"

The Merc was on a roll.

"And you wouldn't want to try and sell something with Marvel characters, because Marvel is owned by Disney and Mickey Mouse will fucking bust a cap in your ass," Deadpool said with complete seriousness.

He shook his head and smiled.

"The final reason, is because….well….this might be awkward….but you know people are mortal and well….they sometimes die," Deadpool said as he looked completely somber at that point. "And to that I say….YOU SELFISH FUCKING WANKER, GET OUT OF THE GRAVE AND FINISH YOUR FUCKING STORY! I don't care how, just fucking resurrect yourself, because you got fan fiction to write."

'_God, you're in quite the mood today,' _one of the voices in Deadpool's head said.

"So to summarize, shit happens and shit," Deadpool said in a smile. "So remember, these authors make no money, it's a hobby, and they aren't obligated to do anything for you. They can walk away at any time and I doubt that they will lose any sleep about it. So don't hate, yo, appreciate."

Deadpool smiled as he waved his hand and we slowly fade to black.


End file.
